Help! Rom-Coms Are Ruining My Relationship


In the Garden – Pierre Auguste Renoir
Every woman dreams of finding true love. But how do we know what true love looks like without experiencing it? Most women rely on the images and feelings described to them in the movies to figure out the meaning of love (you know the world spinning, butterflies in the stomach, heart eyes beating out of your head cartoon stuff). So does it come as any surprise when I say that romance movies are one of the leading genres among women? Of course not!


However ladies, did you know that watching romantic comedies can actually be bad for your love life? Seriously! Watching too many “rom-coms” can affect your views on love. Author Eben Harrel writes about a study in her TIME article Are Romantic Movies Bad for You? saying,

“Dr Holmes’ team had around 130 student volunteers watch the 2001 romantic comedy Serendipity, while another group of the same size watched a David Lynch drama. Viewers of the romantic comedy were found to be more likely to believe in fate and destiny.”

Proving that these sappy love stories actually do have some effect on your views on love.

The problem is most women fall in love with romantic comedies due to their fantasized nature. The big romantic gestures found in every movie give hope to women. However in today’s society chivalry is dead and so are these gestures.  In the following The Dissolve podcast, they discuss the modern “rom-com” and romantic gestures throughout the genre.

Shockingly, men fall prey to this too! According to State Press, “Movies targeted toward guys have similar unrealistic themes, as they tend to include women who are satisfied with the “hit and quit it” lifestyle.” Similarly, these movies skew the men’s perception of women. They teach guys to objectify women just as they teach girls to view men as prince charming.


However, the bad news doesn’t stop there. This misconception of love can affect your romantic relationships. In a segment done by The Today Show, Lee Cowan discusses how the exaggerated portrayals of love can interfere with the function of relationships.

These movies cause women to create unrealistic expectations of men. Many of the popular scenarios found in romantic comedies are not indicative of real life. For example, if you hate a person chances are that one day you are not going to all of the sudden realize that they are your soul mate and the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So why do we buy into these cheesy stories?

It turns out that love is truly a drug. In an article published by ABC News love is an addictive substance. Biological anthropologist, Helen Fisher who states,

‘My guess is that our modern addictions — nicotine, drugs, sex, gambling — are simply hijacking this ancient brain pathway that evolved millions of years ago, that evolved for romantic love. … The brain system evolved to focus your energy on an individual and start the mating process.’

Watching romantic comedies is just as bad for you as a drug addiction. Both affect your brain and personal relationships.

Therefore ladies, next time you feel like watching a movie try to stray away from the romantic comedies. Remember that life is not like the movies and relationships take hard work and communication from both parties to work.


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