Do you ever wonder why people say “Facebook ruined my relationship.” Well, they say it partly because of ignorance and partly because they are guilty of the same crimes they are accusing. People all over are using Facebook. People all over are abusing Facebook. It’s ruining the communication skills of this generation, the generations that come after, and even the one that came before. Relationships are crutched and people have lost their voice. They have lost their sense of communication. They have lost their way.
Torres, Erick. How Facebook can Ruin Your Relationship. n.d. Web. 3 May. 2014. “It’s not you it’s Facebook.” ten57mag.com.
While Facebook is messing up all types of shit,Marriage tends to take the cake in the last placed you’d think it would be ruining. Steppin’ all over that “holy” matrimony. People make me sick. According to NBC, “Although the divorce attorneys agreed Facebook is cited in 20 percent of all divorces, about 80 percent are using some kind of social media to make assignations or communicate with lovers….” I think it’s crazy.
Over time, conversation and it’s meaning has changed. It not about cute little letters and calls from a pay phone. Now, it’s thought-less e-mail and text messages. The way of words in under appreciated. Technological advancement is good, don’t get me wrong, but too much technology isn’t good for anybody. It’s almost like you have to pay to get some Face-to-face conversation out here! What type of shit is that? Yeah, FaceTime and conference calls makes life a little easier, but if you don’t work hard for your relationship in the end what does it really mean to you? Having access to so many people and so much information is like going to a buffet. It’s all so good and it’s never ending, but soon, you have to put the fucking fork down or you will explode. People spend so much time worried about everything else, everybody else, everywhere else that they forget about reality. They forget that their Marriage and their families need them and they are the most important “real” things in their lives. Media also has a good may of making your life look like it sucks, but hey, it doesn’t. You know what they say, “The grass isn’t always greener..” Well, you get the point.
“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil
But Fuck Facebook right? With it’s ever-so-accessible Instant messages, high speed connection to your past loved one, exhilarating photos of your past that bring back so many memories, and that damn like button. Because your love can prevail, huh? What are you expected to do right? No, wrong. Have some self control. It’s not Facebook’s fault it’s your fault. Take responsibility for your own actions and stop being a wuss. Yes, Facebook makes it cheating easy but it doesn’t make it right. Cognitively, some people lack more than others. Self control comes from the ability to control your executive functions in the frontal lobe of your brain. If you lack control there, then you are more likely to cheat. The impulse to be attracted to beautiful people is not wrong, acting on it is.
Do not worry because your Marriage can be saved. You can have a healthy relationship and be connected through Facebook and social media. This is what you do: have a set of rules that you both agree on, keep yourself busy with things other than the internet like learning a new recipe, building something, or planning a special date night for your spouse, do not contact your ex’s (they are ex’s for a reason and really? Nobody could have thought that was okay), be open with your spouse about the things you do on your Facebook, and most importantly, do not do anything you know you shouldn’t do. The formula is pretty simple. Put on your big girl and big boy pants and don’t mess up. You can do it. I believe in you. If you can’t, well shit you don’t deserve it anyway.